Being the best man at your friend’s wedding can be a great honor and somewhat a bother, often at the same time. Obviously the honor is the recognition of your friendship that allows you to be part of his special day, whilst the bother is the fact that you’re going to have to stand up in front of two sets of families and (their friends and relatives) and feel the pressure of having to deliver one of the best best man speeches they’ve heard. In actual fact, writing a good best man speech isn’t difficult, but there are some protocols and unwritten rules to be aware of. This article aims to highlight some of these to make writing and giving that perfect best man speech a little easier.

The best man, due to his being the best friend of the groom, is expected to reveal amusing (and sometimes even a bit embarrassing) stories about his friend. This is all well and good, but you’ll need to think long and hard about which ones to tell. Two absolute must-avoids are anything involving previous girlfriends and anything illegal. Whilst these make for excellent stories at the bar afterwards, the chances of offending someone (especially the bride!) are quite high. In the same vein, stories that involve members of the congregation need to be picked over carefully, and it’s often wise to consult the subjects of the story for their consent before telling it.

But you should understand that best man speeches that are just full of embarrassing stories seem childish and immature and you should make sure that you don’t end up giving one of them. After all, the speech is in part to recognize and celebrate what has gone before in his life, but also to look to a more mature and grown up future. Make sure that parts of your speech reflect on your knowledge of the couple, and be sure to give them your best wishes. Don’t go overboard on this point, as it’s largely the father-in-law’s job to give blessing to their marriage with his speech, but at the same time, it’s important to show your approval of her. Include little jokes and stories about any shared memories there are between the three of you, as this will make her laugh and reduce her nerves. Above all, remember that this is their day, not yours, and you need to keep the focus on them.

Finally, remember that you can expect to give a reasonably good best man speech even if you don’t consider yourself among the best public speakers. all you need to do is plan your speech in advance making sure that your are comfortable with your speech. If required omit those parts that you find might find difficult to deliver. It’s much better to deliver a simple and yet meaningful speech with perfection than to try giving a fancy and extravagant speech that you might find difficult to complete during the reception unless you are as good as anybody when it comes to public speaking.